Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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