Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
