i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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