He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize