I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
