We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
