this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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