I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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