Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
