There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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