aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
