Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
