He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
