i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
