I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
