Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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