I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
