Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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