C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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