i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
