I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
