bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
