What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
