who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
