she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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