Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
