I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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