Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sorry about my life...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
