Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
