Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
