Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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