you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
this boner is exhausting
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
