I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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