I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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