He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
