Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
