Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
