i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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