I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
