I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
