Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize