she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
