Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
