She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
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