dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
