im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize