No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
