wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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