drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
