I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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