is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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