i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
