either way he was missing a nipple.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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