How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
