He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
