Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
