I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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