Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
