Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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