Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
