When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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