She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize